behavior

Communication with a strong or abusive person

Communication with a strong/abusive partner or parent
Communication with a strong/abusive child
Communication with a strong/abusive person in work.

How we communicate with strong abusive people very much depends on our personal boundary. If we have a strong personal boundary, somebody with a strong abusive personality will not impact on us a great deal because we are contained within ourselves and have what is termed an ‘inner locus of control’. We may find this type of personality difficult to be around but they will not overpower us or make us question ourselves or manipulate us. Somebody who is abusive may be very angry inside and unfortunately it’s easier to externalise their anger instead of looking inside themselves at where their anger is rooted.

In essence then, communication with a strong abusive type personality will be more difficult if we are not sure of who we are and what we represent and most important of all; our self-worth. If we are not sure about our worth then an abusive, bullying personality will more easily convince us of our lack of worth.

Being around bullying and abusive behaviours is very unpleasant but if you need to communicate with a person like this you will do so more effectively when they are not getting their desired reactions; Compliance, Fear and Power.

At Insights Counselling Carlow, you will be facilitated as you look at the relationship, be it work related, a family member or a friend. We can explore how you feel about yourself and consequently, how you represent yourself and behave, in relationships. We can look at the origins of these behaviours and any elements of your relational self which you feel you would benefit in developing.

 

We all experience anxiety at times in our lives

We all experience anxiety at times in our lives, perhaps before a job interview or something more serious.  But for a great many people, anxiety is something they live with daily. It colours every part of their lives.
Anxiety can feel like ongoing fear. A constant awareness of how things could go wrong; ranging from a small issue of being on time for an event to worrying about losing our loved ones when they walk out the door in the morning.

Our perception of life is created in childhood. It is then that we learn whether we need to be on guard all the time or whether we can trust in life. If your childhood experience lacked security and consistency, it is understandable that you may have developed a behaviour of worrying and pre-empting, as a protective measure to yourself.

Anxiety can also be a learned behaviour; a learned way of perceiving the world, picked up from a parent, perhaps.
Anxiety can also be triggered by a traumatic event or a loss/bereavement.
When we suffer trauma or bereavement or loss/change of a large proportion, we lose trust in life, giving us a more acute awareness of the potential for things going wrong.
All bereavement and loss is followed by a period of grieving (whether acknowledged or not), where our trust in life is not what it was, but for some this trust is never restored causing anxiety that wasn’t there before.

Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today
of its strength.
Charles Spurgeon

At Counselling Carlow you will be provided with a space where you can talk about how anxiety is impacting on your life. You will have the opportunity to explore the roots of your anxiety, if that is important to you.

At Counselling Carlow, your counselling experience will be one of understanding, patience and acceptance.